Horrible Histories – Terrible Thames Tour
Tower Bridge Quay (previously St Katherine's Pier - Next to Tower Bridge)
During school holidays between - 9.45 and 15.45/check website for other days.
Tube: Tower Hill. Bus Routes - 15 & 100
45 - 60mins
Based on 11 reviews
Hello, my name is Oliver, and I am 12 years old, and I went to London to go on a Horrible Histories Tour of The Thames. The best thing about it was probably how enthusiastic the actors were. They made sure it was enjoyable and at the same time equally educational, you learn lots of facts like who the first queen to be imprisoned in the Tower of London to why Black Friars bridge was called such name. The only thing I would do to improve it is to get some more audience participation because there really was only one bit which was right at the end where the actors got you to sing and clap along to the very popular sea shanty “What should we do with a drunken sailor?” Thank you for reading my review of the Horrible Histories Terrible Thames boat tour. Overall I give it a 10/10
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About Horrible Histories – Terrible Thames Tour
The Horrible Histories: Terrible Thames Tour is a gory, giggly river cruise packed with pirates, plague, and London legends. With live actors, sea shanties and silly facts, it’s perfect for kids 5+, teens and grown-ups who prefer their history with guts, ghosts and laughs.
Top tip from the KidRated team:
Bring snacks, wrap up warm, and don’t sit too close if you’re squeamish – some of the stories are deliciously disgusting!
Quick Inspiration
Is it indoors or outdoors?
Both. There’s a cosy lower deck with windows and heating, and an open-air upper deck for top-notch views. Shows run on both decks depending on the weather.
Are there headphones or audio guides?
Nope. It’s live, loud and full of laughs, led by two actors who roam the boat telling twisted tales and getting the audience involved. No need to plug in – just enjoy!
Can we bring food and drinks?
Yes. There’s no onboard café, but you’re welcome to bring your own snacks and drinks. Just maybe avoid anything too messy… or plague-themed.
Is it good for teens?
Absolutely. It’s packed with humour, fast-paced facts, and gross-out moments teens secretly love. Plus, it’s a great Insta moment with Tower Bridge in the background.
What about accessibility?
There’s currently no step-free boarding or accessible toilet, though improvements are in the works. Assistance dogs are welcome – best to contact the team ahead of time.
Can we bring a buggy?
Yes, but only on the lower deck. There’s space to park prams or scooters downstairs, but they can’t be taken up to the top deck.
Is it scary?
Not really – more gross than grim! Expect silly gore, sing-alongs, and cheeky jokes, but nothing nightmare-worthy. Perfect for brave kids aged 5 and up.
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Hi my name is Lizzie and I am 9 years old. Recently I have been to the Terrible Thames tour and it was amazing !!! The best part was when at the end of the tour they sang a song called “drunken sailor” I give it a 10/10 The only bit they can improve is to make it a little bit longer