Horrible Histories – Terrible Thames Tour
Tower Bridge Quay (previously St Katherine's Pier - Next to Tower Bridge)
During school holidays between - 9.45 and 15.45/check website for other days.
Tube: Tower Hill. Bus Routes - 15 & 100
45 - 60mins
Based on 11 reviews
About Horrible Histories – Terrible Thames Tour
Fancy history with the horrible bits left in? Then the Horrible Histories: Terrible Thames Tour is the river cruise you’ve been waiting for. Departing from Tower Bridge Quay, this 45-minute boat trip swaps dull dates for plague rats, pirate battles, ghost stories and more gory London legends than you can shake a severed arm at.
Hosted by two brilliant live actors (a sassy schoolkid and their long-suffering teacher), the show mixes LOLs with sea-shanties and audience participation. Think Jack the Ripper, Boudicca, and Guy Fawkes – plus a few grim facts you’ll wish you didn’t know. It’s fast-paced, interactive, and perfectly pitched for ages 5+, with plenty for teens and history-loving adults too.
Whether you’re soaking up the views from the open top deck or staying cosy downstairs, this is one sightseeing cruise that doesn’t take itself too seriously, and that’s exactly why kids love it.
Top tip from the KidRated team:
Bring snacks, wrap up warm, and don’t sit too close if you’re squeamish – some of the stories are deliciously disgusting!
Is it indoors or outdoors?
Both. There’s a cosy lower deck with windows and heating, and an open-air upper deck for top-notch views. Shows run on both decks depending on the weather.
Are there headphones or audio guides?
Nope. It’s live, loud and full of laughs, led by two actors who roam the boat telling twisted tales and getting the audience involved. No need to plug in – just enjoy!
Can we bring food and drinks?
Yes. There’s no onboard café, but you’re welcome to bring your own snacks and drinks. Just maybe avoid anything too messy… or plague-themed.
Is it good for teens?
Absolutely. It’s packed with humour, fast-paced facts, and gross-out moments teens secretly love. Plus, it’s a great Insta moment with Tower Bridge in the background.
What about accessibility?
There’s currently no step-free boarding or accessible toilet, though improvements are in the works. Assistance dogs are welcome – best to contact the team ahead of time.
Can we bring a buggy?
Yes, but only on the lower deck. There’s space to park prams or scooters downstairs, but they can’t be taken up to the top deck.
Is it scary?
Not really – more gross than grim! Expect silly gore, sing-alongs, and cheeky jokes, but nothing nightmare-worthy. Perfect for brave kids aged 5 and up.
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