Published: 1st April 2022
Clinton Baptiste is a satirical character created by the actor / writer Alex Lowe, originally seen in Peter Kay’s Phoenix Nights.
When Clinton isn’t on tour testing his psychic skills on stage against his arch nemesis Ramone (Lewis MacLeod), he is chatting to the dead and tapping into the celestial realm on his All-New Paranormal Podcast, which you can find on Apple Podcasts or Patreon. Prepare to be spooked… or cry with laughter!
I am a clairvoyant medium psychic, the proud owner of a First Class doctorate from the Massachusetts University of the Third Eye and a Manchester Youth Science Award, as well as an advisor to Her Majesty The Queen in a letter I sent.
I still don’t know if she picked it up or not but I certainly gave her some advice.
I have a new weekly podcast called Clinton Baptiste All-New Paranormal Podcast, which not only deals with the paranormal but it aims to seek out the charlatans and reveal those particular people who don’t have any gifts.
Last week, we were dealing with an article about Gemma Collins, GC, which claimed her Mum is a witch (I’m not being disrespectful that’s what she calls her) and met an alien on a train coming in from Essex to London. We took this story and tried to analyse it to work out the wheat from the chaff.
I am a man of enormous skill and I like to bend over backwards to show them my third eye and blow them away.
My favourite place was probably the Peter Harrison Planetarium in Baker Street, because I am a mystical man so naturally have an interest in places that are beyond our knowledge as man, beyond our universe.
I am fascinated with those places that are on a celestial pathway to the unknown (although I do like to miss out Kettering because it’s a sh*thole). Anywhere between here to beyond the stars is wonderful to me… although I’m not mad on Middlesborough either.
As I am a very spiritual man, I do like my fancy and exotic Chinese restaurants. MSG is so versatile as an ingredient so I like to go some of the cheaper places around Soho. For a quality meal, I like to go to Joy King Lau just off Leicester Square. I’ve never had a bad meal there.
When I was recently working my magic at the Leicester Square Theatre (which I sold out for FOUR nights – thank you very much for asking), I always go there for some sustenance before the show.
I was there the other week with comedian Jason Byrne and I think he enjoyed it very much as well.
I really like to go Knebworth House. It’s where Robbie Williams famously played plus every major rock band since the 70s including Oasis, Genesis, Queen & Pink Floyd.
It has nice tea rooms, a dinosaur display and an adventure playground for the kids.
Now I’m not blessed enough to have kids of my own, but I do often take my nephew and niece there. I’m very attentive to those kids. Before they come over to my house, I go out and bury all my sweets in the garden and when they go back home I dig em’ all up again the thieving b*stards!
Dunstable Downs is another place I like to go, it’s got a lovely hillside where you can look out over Bedfordshire and Hertfordshire. People like to fly kites up there, there’s a short walk you can do as well as a cafe that does an occasional BBQ.
If you just want to go there and be at peace with the world and 500 other families, it’s quite a nice place to go.
You don’t have to spend a ton of money, it’s all about breathing in fresh air and enjoying yourself. Wholesome pursuits.
Once again, it’s got to be Leicester Square. My most vivid memory is sweating, trying to load up my set by Leicester Square Theatre from a van with eagle-eyed traffic wardens while I’m probably appearing on a massive screen in some parking control centre in the middle of nowhere.
I don’t mind that area though, it’s always buzzing plus I got my Chinese restaurants!
It was once black cab, but of course it’s ubs now, Uber definitely.